Lack of closeness, frequent disagreements, infidelity, and ineffective communication are just some of the things that could cause your marriage to end. These eight steps to save your marriage could help you reconcile your differences and grow in your relationship.
Renew your commitment
Consider renewing your commitment as a critical step to how to save your marriage. Commitment is the willingness to stick together even in difficult times and make the relationship work.
Make a decision to put hard work in your marriage so that your relationship can improve. Try to identify positive things about your relationship and your spouse. Then sit together and talk about the expectations you both have for your marriage.
Reestablish an emotional connection
It is easy to drift apart without even noticing it. Schedule time together when you can share your feelings with your spouse, and listen to him or her share thoughts and feelings. Increase time spent in romantic activities you both enjoy. For example, planning date nights could fan the flames in your marriage.
Improve your communication
Effective communication is the ingredient that promotes connection and cooperation in all aspects of your marriage. Improving your communication will help you not only better understand your spouse, but also resolve differences. Moreover, it builds trust and respect and creates an environment for problem solving and loving affection.
Actively listen to each other
It is important that you actively listen to each other. Your spouse wants to know that you understand his or her deepest needs. It is vital to make each other feel heard and understood, and this can help build a stronger and deeper connection between you.
Use “I” statements
Make every effort to cut down complaining and re-frame your complaints to polite requests. Use “I statements” to communicate your needs or concerns instead of accusing your spouse. When you use “I” statements, your spouse feels connected to you more than when “you” statements are used.
Learn problem-solving skills
Stop the name calling, blaming, and shaming in your relationship, and start handling conflicts more effectively. For example, practice the steps of fighting fair, where you validate instead of disrespect each other. In this atmosphere, you express your points of view and work out your differences until you reach a mutually satisfying solution.
Forgive each other
While it is difficult to let go of anger and pain, if you want to save your marriage, this is necessary. Resist the urge to bring up the hurts of the past and to continue to hold grudges. Also, be willing to accept your spouse’s forgiveness.
Seek professional help
As you consider how to save your marriage, another important step could be to seek marriage counseling. This could help you identify the role each of you plays in the difficulties you face in your marriage, and the changes needed to improve the relationship. Similarly, you will get help to develop the skills necessary for more effective and open communication and problem solving.
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