What to do when he’s lost his job

How you deal with this now can make all the difference. It's time to shine in your relationship.

He may be feeling vulnerable, but he doesn't want to feel like a charity case either.
He may be feeling vulnerable, but he doesn't want to feel like a charity case either.
Foto: Shutterstock

So he’s lost his job. Where do you go from here and what’s next? Unfortunately, there are a lot more unanswered questions than there are answers, but now’s not the time to panic. This is only a temporary setback, one of those many bumps in the road we all seem to experience in life.

How you deal with this now can make all the difference. It’s your time to shine in your role as nurturer in your caring relationship, so get ready to dazzle!

Remain calm and carry on

Almost anybody who’s ever worked has lost their job at one time or another. Mistakes and failure are proof we’re trying, or so they say, and this won’t be the last setback you experience together in life.

But reminding him you’re there for him and that you’ll get through this together is extremely important right now. You’re a team and, like all teams, you’ll work this out and he’ll be back in the game in no time. Being supportive emotionally should be your No. 1 job right now as girlfriend or wife if he’s lost his job.

His ego

Dealing with his bruised ego after he’s lost his job could prove challenging right now. Most men are extremely sensitive on the subject of being “the man” and feeling like the protector and the provider — even if you share the bills equally. He still needs to feel like a man. It bugs him far more than it bugs you.

Just because this is something we don’t get, doesn’t mean it’s not bothering him, so try and find little ways to remind him that you still view him as the same virile man you always have without laying it on too thick. He may be feeling vulnerable, but he doesn’t want to feel like a charity case either.


Hopefully, with any luck, this downturn of events is short lived and he’ll be back in the saddle in no time after he’s lost his job. But, on the outside chance it’s not, readjustments in your budgeting and how you spend your money and on what need to be addressed immediately. Jobs — or at least well-paying jobs — just aren’t out there in the numbers they used to be.

This calls for a new financial strategy, and you both need to be on board with it. Once the initial shock is over, sit down together and make a plan as a team that you can both agree on as to where to trim the fat starting now. Do not skip this step! Many couples foolishly do. Being optimistic is all well and fine, but being realistic is what’s needed now.

Is he a serial flake?

So he’s lost his job — yet again. Some people have an uncanny knack for this. They just can’t seem to stay employed. If this sounds like your man, there comes a point when it’s time for him to own it. Sure, some people have far less luck than others, but if this situation is all too familiar in your household, perhaps it’s time to look at it and see it for what it is.

If this is the umpteenth time he’s lost his job for no “apparent” reason, confronting him will only start a fight. It’s time for you to decide if this is how you want to live. If his pattern of unemployment doesn’t jibe with your goals in life, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and make some changes. Don’t be snookered by a man who doesn’t want to work, unless you’re willing to support him.