Now that you’re in the world of “grownups”, do you sometimes find yourself a little disappointed to realize it’s not all that you thought it would be? When you have bills bigger than your paycheck, or no paycheck at all, when you have personal drama or work drama, when you have more negatives than positives in your life, it can be hard to find reasons to be content. Instead of running after happiness, the search starts within you and the world you make for yourself.
While family is the cornerstone of our happiness, sometimes we can still find ourselves in moments of feeling empty or lonely. Sometimes we get so wiped out caring for our small children, we feel like we need a break with other grownups to regain our sense of self. For older women, sometimes it’s an empty nest that makes us feel like we need to go searching in order to find happiness again.
It’s moments like these that connecting with others can become a valuable tool. Whether joining a club (however unconventional), or offering your time as a volunteer to help those less fortunate, being part of group helps you to push your boundaries, make new friends, and most importantly have fun. Finally, being part of a group not only allows you receive support, but helps you to offer it as well, giving you a sense of purpose and therefore satisfaction.
Oftentimes another way to regain happiness is to give time to yourself, allowing yourself a chance to check in with your heart and mind on the search to be happy. While getting some time alone may be the last thing available to you, you’ll find that if you make it a regular thing, similar to brushing your teeth or making your bed, spending time as an individual can offer a lot of enlightenment into what makes you content.
It also helps reduce stress; taking the dog for a walk, learning something new, even sitting outside to just think can not only offer some fresh air but fresh insight. Any activity, no matter how simple, helps you connect with yourself and gives your mind a chance to be still enough to listen to the feelings you may otherwise ignore throughout the course of a busy day.
If you’re daydreaming about “if I could” or “once I get” or any “if only”, you’re allowing the opportunities for happiness to pass you by. By having these thoughts you are not taking the opportunity to watch your kids play or listen to a meaningful conversation with a loved one. Stay in the moment and you’ll be able enjoy each moment for what it is, and most importantly, live your life to the fullest.
Achieving happiness is not easy, there’s no shortcut, but we are all a work in progress. When you find contentment from within you will be less likely to let external forces get in the way of your mood. If you can condition yourself to stay connected with the world, with yourself, and enjoy the moment for what it is, you can learn that being happy isn’t about having a life without problems. It’s really about learning to love your life despite those problems.