Body language speaks volumes. We all have the ability to read people if we can just stand back and look at things objectively. It’s that ability to distance one’s self that puts things more clearly into perspective.
The problem is, the more we want something to go our way; say, a date, a job, or a business transaction, the less accurate our ability to objectively and accurately discern just how interested the other party really is.
It was Aristotle that over 2000 years ago said, “Under the influence of strong feeling we are easily deceived.” Whenever you’re questioning someone’s interest or apparent desire for something, consider what they do, not necessarily what they say. This is a much better indicator of how things stack up.
It’s said that emotional states are either self-induced or externally caused, and are at times a combination of the two. One of the obviously strongest emotional states is love. When operating in this state, or in a state of infatuation, your judgment is likely to be impaired or clouded.
So, if you’re operating under this clouded judgment, how do you really know what’s going on with a man? First, step back, try and detach yourself from your emotions, and watch and listen.
Body language is one of our strongest indicators of what’s really up with someone, but we have to train ourselves to notice the signs. Once you know what to look for, you can read anyone like a book. You’re on a date, and you’re trying to gauge his interest level in you.
A person interested in someone shows it, even though they may say or do something to try to hide their true feelings. Take the eyes for instance, many writers have said that they are the window to the soul, and apparently they’re not far off.
Pupil dilation can be a strong body language indicator. When people are interested in something, their pupils dilate, letting additional light in, which allows them to see more clearly and gather more information. This also gives the impression of them being larger and brighter, hence the expression “their eyes lit up.”
To a certain extent, often times there is a perceptible physical change in the face as well, as their eyes actually do widen and their mouths open slightly as in a look of surprise. If you notice these changes when he greets you and when he says goodnight, he’s interested in you.
The eyes again have it when it comes to the he’s-just-not-that-into-you body language department. When people are less receptive to something, their pupils constrict, and you can see a noticeable difference here as well.
If you pay close attention, you can use this handy insight to gauge his feelings while talking throughout the evening. This way you can actually tell if he likes any of the topics you’ve been discussing, or if he’s just feigning interest.
Even if he is just faking it, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. It might just mean that he’s not that interested in the subject, but likes you enough to try to show some enthusiasm, so take heart. But if you’re getting the beady-pupil eye throughout the date, chances are there won’t be a second.
One final note on body language regarding the eyes, people who are smitten with something or someone cannot take their eyes off the object of their desire and will be drawn back to it time and again, so take note of this.