eHarmony User Data Reveals the Biggest Relationship Mistakes

Data from 619,533 Users Looked at Lying, Drinking, Cheating and
Cheapskates; Being Rude is the Number 1 Dealbreaker for both Men and

LOS ANGELES–(BUSINESS WIRE)–The world’s only relationship platform, eHarmony, today released user
data from 619,533 eHarmony subscribers that revealed Dating Dealbreakers
for both men & women, with being rude taking the top spot! 77% of men
and 79% of women say that rudeness will end the relationship, lying
came in third
with 61% of men and 62% of women saying they wouldn’t
tolerate it.

Hanging out with an ex also came in high, beating out lying on
the Dealbreaker scale as well with 71% of men and 73% of women saying
absolutely not! Surprisingly, laziness only came in at 17% of men
and 18% of women.

“While we weren’t surprised to see that rudeness was an important factor
for both men and women, we were interested in the fact that it beat out
lying and hanging out with an ex as a Dealbreaker!” said Jeannie
Assimos, editor in chief. “We look at data sets like this on an ongoing
basis to always better understand the things that drive both successful
and unsuccessful relationships and fine tune our algorithms. We are the
first and only online dating platform to use research-based factors that
predict success in a relationship to match our users and so it’s key to
our success to understand what is influencing our users’ relationships.”

The eHarmony data also measured how cursing, being in shape, being a
cheapskate, living with parents, drinking and smoking, lying, hanging
out with an ex, messiness and laziness impacted relationships and what
were the biggest Dealbreakers. Here’s how all the data shakes out:

  • Cursing! While 1 out of 4 women and 1 out of 5 men say it’s a
    turnoff, women say it’s not a Dealbreaker but 77% of men say it’s the
    end of the relationship!
  • Does a Date Need to be in Shape – Nearly half of both men and
    women say it’s a nice bonus with 21% of women and 29% of men saying
    it’s a must have.
  • Date a Cheapskate – Nearly half of the men say they are okay
    with dating a cheapskate but 3 out of 4 women say no way!

A look at how people feel about dating someone who is Living with Mom
and Dad
showed the most significant disparity between men and women.
About 4 out of 5 men say they are fine dating someone who still lives
with mom and dad, but more than half of women say they won’t date
someone who hasn’t moved out.

  • Drinking is a much more acceptable behavior than Smoking with
    2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men saying that drinking on a first
    date is acceptable. On the other hand, only 42% of men and 31% of
    women say smoking is tolerable.
  • Smoking is a Dealbreaker for approximately 30% of both men and
    women who say they would give a partner who smokes an ultimatum.
  • Being Rude! Perhaps most surprising of all is that the biggest
    Dealbreaker, according to more than 600,000 eHarmony users, is being
    rude. 77% of men and 79% of women agree that being rude is a bigger
    Dealbreaker than messiness, smoking, laziness, lying, or even hanging
    out with an ex.

eHarmony has published the data along with an infographic linked
. For more information or to join eHarmony, please visit us at

About eHarmony, Inc.

Los Angeles, California-based eHarmony, Inc. (
was founded in 2000 and is a pioneer in using relationship science to
create highly compatible relationships based on key dimensions of
personality that are scientifically proven to predict the most
compatible, highly successful, long-term relationships. On average, 438
people marry every day in the U.S. as a result of eHarmony, nearly 5% of
new marriages.* eHarmony operates in the United States, Canada, the
United Kingdom, Singapore and Australia.

*2009 survey conducted for eHarmony by Harris Interactive®


Coltrin & Associates
Jennifer Webb, 212-221-1616