Once born in the U.S., the children of immigrants no longer belong to them

As I see footage on social media platforms about Latino U.S. national guardsmen who must accompany their immigrant mother to a court appointment so that she is not deported, or watch news interviews of marines who are horrified by videos of their undocumented parent beaten to the ground by masked federal agents, I’m affected by the cruelty of these scenes, and reminded of the ultimate sacrifice that immigrants make over and over again in this country, their children.

Americans are led and like to believe that the biggest sacrifice an immigrant makes is the trek across continents in search of a better life in a foreign country, but it is not. The most profound sacrifice immigrants make is the birthing and offering of their children to the United States of America, especially if their children serve in the armed forces (a little over 18% of active-duty personnel in the U.S. is Latino). 

Like the Lebanese-American poet, Khalil Gibran, reminds us in his book, The Prophet, “your children are not your own,” once born in the U.S., the children of immigrants will no longer be theirs.  They will begin to lose the home country’s language and eventually speak to their parents in a mixture of two languages (old and new), often before entirely losing the ability to communicate with family elders – slowly losing cultural and familial traditions. The children will no longer abide by their parents’ rules, but rather the rules of the country where they are born. They will speak and think in the language of the new country, English. They will believe in the customs and ideals of the dominant culture around them. 

I see this among the Latino and Indigenous immigrant families who I work with. Parents are often helpless to exert influence over and impart on their children traditional norms and values within an American culture that legally liberates children at the age of 18, encourages them to “fly the nest” after high school, and largely eschews cultures that value tribal traditions of family unity and respect for elders. 

In spite of these external influences, our immigrant families prove time and time again, as witnessed through countless videos on social media platforms like Tik Tok and Instagram, that faith, love of family, and a strong work ethic are central to our value system. Unlike popular American culture, which thrives on competition and individualism, Latino families remain outliers – navigating the vast ocean of egocentrism with fierce love for their children, and their community – keeping everyone close. 

Our strength as Latinos is found in knowing who we are, where we come from, and where we belong, and family is at the center of our being. The actions of the current administration (Trump) toward Latinos are egregious because they are a betrayal of the love and loyalty Latinos show for this country. They strike at the heart of the Latino community; the family, and are an assault on what we hold most dear, our children. 

While the current U.S. administration bends the rule of law to its nefarious ends, Latinos will do what we do best, love and keep our children safe and close because, while our children are a product of two or more cultures, we are the “bow from which our children as living arrows will be sent forth” and change the future.

(*) Evelyn Alemán is founder of Our Voice: Communities for Quality Education, a nonprofit organization that helps families access education information and resources.